It’s been a while since my last post and it was not intended to be that way. 2 weeks ago, I actually wrote one entry with the theme on ‘Happy 60th Birthday Singapore’, but somehow that post disappeared. I remember clicking on the ‘Publish’ button but I only found out few days later that it was not published and there were no drafts saved. If you follow me long (or short) enough, I don’t do any planning which means everything that I write is kind of spontaneous, which is why the topics that I write about jump all over the places which is why I am not able to just re-write whatever I’ve written 3 days later as I simply can’t remember what I wrote about back then. Once the ‘spark’ is gone, I can’t write and I got to wait for the next random ‘feeling’ that comes about before I be patient with myself (and the annoying weather), sit down and focus on writing, or perhaps it is just typing.

So on the 9th of August 2025, Singapore celebrated its 60th year of independence, and it was a major affair with many weeks of rehearsals and fireworks. Perhaps 10 to 15 years ago, most people in the world wouldn’t have known where Singapore is. In fact, when I was in the States back in 2010, a lot of people had that assumption that Singapore was in China just because I look Chinese. Anyway, for context, I don’t actually feel like it is a racist comment or anything because I’m pretty insensitive towards all these sensitive lines. Growing up in a country where I am of the majority race, I don’t really feel the discrimination, and somehow when I travel to places where I am the minority, I just accept/ignore/am ignorant of it because these aren’t things that bother me so much. Anyway, what I wanted to say is that I’m pretty sure Singapore is probably much more recognised in the world today, as compared to what it had been years ago. To be honest, it is pretty rare for people (of other nationalities) to sing praises for their government right? I do have many positive things to share about mine, because they really did a good job (obviously not perfect), in making our country where we are today. Some years ago, when I was speaking to a Japanese I met on travel, the first thing she said when I told her that I was from Singapore, was.. “F1? Night Race?” I was not a f1 fan back then, so I didn’t really know what all that hype was but this was one of the many things that introduced Singapore to the world. While I was watching Drive To Survive (The netflix f1 show), there was a full episode on Singapore and I was like wow, that looks.. sponsored. Guess what, a quick google confirmed my suspicions and yea our tourism board has indeed sponsored that episode. Not just f1, we throw money in making Singapore the only Southeast Asia stop for Taylor Swift, we sponsored Coldplay’s MV and etc. Looking at the f1 example, it could be something that we are not reaping the benefits immediately (i.e. seeing immediate uplift to tourism dollars), but somehow or another, we are just setting the path towards a longer road to success. Years ago, I was probably someone that make snarky comments whenver the government ‘spends/invests’ heavily on things that don’t make sense but if I take a step back today and reflect, there were just seeing the bigger picture that we most commoners couldn’t see. Times like this, we should just trust the experts.

No idea why I typed out that massive paragraph on why my government is better than yours. Maybe it’s cause of the $600 vouchers we got from the budget this year. Oh wells. I do have a feel overseas friends that I still do keep in touch with and very often, they are just amazed at how our government runs and functions. How we probably have the highest home ownership in the world (I didnt’ fact check but I guess it is true), and if all things goes to plan, I might be able to get my very own house this year? I’m currently watching the Netflix documentaries of the Korean tragedies (i.e. the JMS scandal etc.) and it’s crazy how corruption is such a huge problem that transcends over the decades. Not saying that my country is corruption-free, but at least we haven’t been caught in massive scandals yet.

I’ve been feeling under the weather for about 5 days and counting and it really frustrates me because I’m not that sick to just be lying in bed the whole day but I’m not good enough to live like there’s nothing wrong with me. I feel like I have like a mucus factory that keeps growing from within no matter how much I try to blow it out. Despite taking all sorts of medication that have been given to me, my condition is just being ‘contained’, like things are not getting worse, but it is not getting better too. I’ve been feeling very lethargic and I have no issues falling asleep/dozing off when I’m just lying down on the sofa. Thankfully, the airway is not blocked which means I can still breathe through my nose but it somehow feels uncomfortable. I’ve also started coughing, but it is not often. Somehow it feels like my body is stuck in the ‘in between’ of being sick and very sick. Boohoo. Which makes me wonder.. if ‘working from home’ really a good thing? I was thinking to myself.. if ‘work from home’ didn’t exist, I would have just taken a day off to rest but given that ‘work from home’ is an option, and that I don’t have to step out of the house for commute and risk being under the hot sun, I feel that getting out of bed and sitting at my desk, turning on my laptop, and settle the tasks like replying to emails and blah.. it sounds pretty do-able even though I’m feeling under the weather.

Just a few days ago, my friend share a video by CNA which had this caption which says from 30-somethings to 30-nothings, and within that video, it was a sharing on how people in the 30+ age group are dealing with retrenchment. It feels really sad to know that they are doing anything/everything, yet being helpless in this tragic economy today. It was kind of relatable as I went through one phase of it back when I returned from NZ 5 years ago. It was really the worse time of it all to be job search as the whole uncertainty of covid was just terrifying. At the same time, I had to struggle with all the covid stay at home restrictions with limited social interaction among friends and family. I remember the first rule that I gave myself was to only give myself 3 months to be ‘picky’ on the jobs that I would like to apply for, after which, I should be applying to anything that I am qualified for. The 3 months came and went by and I embarked on part 2 and ended up in a job/industry that had never been on my mind my whole life. Thankfully, I could embrace such opportunities with open arms and while I did not last two years, I look back now and do see the learnings from that role which widened my perspective in a lot of things in life, and also for my future jobs. To whoever that is struggling right now in whatever aspect in life or anything under the sun, not sure if this tip helps but you just got to embrace the change and be open to whatever advice/criticisms/opinions that come your way. Even if you think that it is uncomfortable the first time, give it another chance and it might just be fine the next time around. Even though you do not see the rewards yet, or perhaps the ‘reward’ would never come, the process is alway something that you can learn many things from. Everytime I talk about this, I recall about the first mini hike I did in NZ with my host family on my first weekend. They told me that we were going to hike to see a waterfall and when we reached the ‘end’, all I saw was a small stream of water coming down. My face was filled with disappointment (well, cause my emotions are usually written on my face and I can’t lie about it), and that’s when someone told me that such hikes are not about the ‘final point’, but it is the process that matters. I’m glad for learning this ‘knowledge’ earlier in life as there are times where I feel disappointment about the outcome and when I think about this, I can recall that it had been my first hike in NZ, and I was pretty much unfit and not used to the cold weather, but with the motivation of my host family + house mates, we managed to achieve the goal of that mini hike that day.

Anyway, long story short is that after watching that video, it reminded me of a ‘lot drawing’ which I received back in Feb during my Japan trip. I visited a shrine which was famous for business/career/corporate, and the ‘reading’ I got from a ‘fortune lot’ was that I need to ‘be thankful for having a job’. When I headed over to Taiwan 2 months later and asked the same question at a different shrine/different god, the reading I got from throwing the crescent stones was that.. ‘Gods are angry and whatever you wish/asked for was negative.’ I haven’t dared to ask for the third time but recent events has made me self-reflect and ask myself ‘Why am I so unhappy’ and would changing my work environment make me less unhappy? I guess nobody knows what the future brings but in times of economy downturn and blah, I guess I should just learn to be satisfied and stop competing in the job market with people that obviously need the jobs more than me ><  Hoping for the day I can really go into the zen mode for everything.

It has been very hot and rainy these few weeks and I really hate the weather but I can’t do anything about it. With global warming + irresponsible humans, I don’t know how many more years it will take for the entire human population to be wiped out eventually, and the ‘Earth’ will go into a renewal mode.

Hope I will have exciting news to share next month. Not sure if it will happen but if it does, I’ll be sure to update.

Cheers for now ^^