Are we at the halfway point yet?

As much as we don’t want to admit it, ‘time flies’ is such a simple two words but can contain the weight of regret, self-reflection and also a teeny weeny bit of disappointment that ‘it is over’. Actually I had another post drafted halfway back on 20th July but somehow I lost the momentum and couldn’t return to that entry that I have initially wanted to draft. Maybe some day I would get back to it but not today.

To be honest, some days I feel really sad that I have lost the drive to update and keep my blog alive. I’ve been blogging since 2003 (if I didn’t recall the date I started on diaryland) and this travel-themed content started after my first overseas vacation with friends back in 2009 (to Taiwan). I used to be excited to share my travel itinerary and drama filming locations with whoever who was interested but somehow covid happened and we didn’t get to travel for a while. And then my travel destinations started repeating and becoming less ‘fun and interesting’, which is why I slowly stop updating as I didn’t think anyone be interested in my travel, nor find my content useful. People have short attention span these days (largely due to TikTok and Instagram Reels) and having to scroll through a lengthy blog post like how I write isn’t an appeal anymore. Likewise, I find myself scrolling social media for content more than using Google and the preference of obtaining information via a 90 seconds video sounds more efficient than a 5 minute read. We all move ahead with the times I guess.

Thankfully, I still remember this space once in a while and I do get idea of what to write occasionally, though many just fall through in my head before I start reaching out to the keyboard. While I was bathing earlier, I made a mental note to myself that I had time tonight to write and that I shouldn’t procrastinate any further so here I am.

July had been a busy busy busy month for me. Apart from entertaining the kiddos who are back for their summer break, I also went on a short trip to.. Taiwan again! Yep, this is my third trip to Taiwan in three years. It’s a pretty affordable an easy destination for me to visit and somehow I keep finding reasons to get back there again. This trip, I was able to meet up with 3 different friends, 2 of which I haven’t met in 4-5 years (they were my temporary house mates when I was living in Christchurch) and it’s always a huge joy to be able to reminisce the fun days and to catch up on what each other have been up to over the years, despite not keeping in touch much over those years. It’s nice to see how people are progressing towards their goals and dreams, moving ahead with the next stage of life, building their careers and also growing wiser and older. We were once those carefree kids doing physical labour in a plant nursery.. Urgh, sometimes I wonder if I spend too much time dwelling in the past that I can’t seem to grasp hold of the current reality :/

On a side note, I’m also proud to share that I have managed to ‘not fall sick’ for the entire month of July! It might sound like such a small thing but can you believe it, I have fallen sick every single month since Chinese new year in February. In recent months, I’m been eating more expensive fruits like kiwi and cherries as an attempt to build up vitamins and immunity plus trying to sweat it out at least once a week. Hopefully, this is paying off and I can continue the good habits in the longer term. Before this year, I don’t think I have ever fallen sick that often in my life but oh wells this is life. I think I’ve went to the temple the most number of times this year (in my life) and there were many things and people I wanted to pray for and guess what, I’m actually an atheist but at times I just do whatever I feel like doing or believing in that moment.

Few days ago, my friend told me to really think about what I want to do as a career, not a job. I guess I’m at the awkward time where I start thinking about whether the current place I am at is a place I want to stay on for a longer term. Actually, a few years ago after I read the book ‘There is no such thing as a perfect job’, I have kind of give up on that perfect job for me. Instead, I just settle and be satisfied in a role/place where I don’t exactly hate (or be disliked in). I remember in a previous blog post, I did write about how there was nothing wrong  being satisfied with ‘average’, but sometimes this friend of my always remind me on why shouldn’t I be pushing more in life. Anyway, that conversation led me to recall this old ‘dream job’ I had when I was in my mid 20s. I want to be an owner of a ‘green space’, which has a lot of plants – don’t have to be flowers, but I want a lot of indoor greens, Within this space, the concept is for people to drop in for a conversation with me. In most situations, I love to talk and many times, the people who I’m talking to enjoy talking to me as well. Having a personality of wanting to be a problem solver, I often find myself directing problems and proposing solutions to people who are stuck in a dilemma. (That being said, I can’t make decisions for myself.) I wouldn’t really call it a cafe because I don’t want the focus to me on the food/drinks and I don’t want it to be crowded either. Just perhaps a maximum of 5 people at any one time and my job would just be to make drinks, bake a little something and to make whoever that comes in through the door, comfortable and at ease. Sometimes you know when I’m traveling, I love it when people strike a conversation with me but sometimes it is so hard to make the first move. So in my supposedly ‘green space’, anyone can come in and I’ll be there welcoming and initiating conversations. I don’t want it to be in like a professional setting where I am a counselor or therapist or something. I want it to be a free and easy space where it would be amazing if it can be funded from sponsors and donations -though it would be a crazy far stretch from reality. If I really strike lottery – would I really make this a reality?

Anyway, that’s the only ‘dream job’ I ever thought of my whole adult life..

When I was doing ‘wiring jobs’ in the vineyards of New Zealand, I recall reading my first book on leadership – The Making of a Manager by Julie Zhou – where I learned what it is like to be a food leader and people manager for your team. After reading the book, I kind of concluded that I don’t have what it takes to be a good manager, and that I haven’t also been blessed to work under one. Following that book, I went out to read books about leaders and CEO (e.g. Disney, Netflix, Tesla) and pretty much concluded that I don’t have that X factor to be up there. It made be more realistic with my job expectations and career aspirations and somehow, is that why I’m feeling somewhat stuck right now? Oops.

Also, I finally booked my flight ticket for my at least 2 weeks compulsory vacation – which is once again to a place that I’ve been before. I’m that boring but as long as I enjoy it.

I think the past month (given that I didn’t fall sick) was quite an enjoyable and happy month as I got to do things I wanted to do without much disappointments and mishaps along the way. I also found myself drinking slightly more than usual which is an ‘ok’ thing once in a while I guess. It is good to just let loose at times.

I don’t know how the remaining 5 months of 2024 would be for me but I hope that it would be a sick-free one. I’m really tired of falling sick already. How is it for you? Have you been watching the Olympic games? I watched quite a fair bit of it this year because it is giving me the memories of covid lockdown restrictions (for Tokyo 2021) which didn’t seem too far away.

Stay happy, stay healthy and try to find that one thing each day that makes you feel that it’s worthwhile! Till my next update ^^